Who are you?

While it isn't so fancy of me to pop out of no where, especially after months of dedication towards my academics - which is falling into tiny fragments until finally I reach my breaking point by which there is no return - now I need to just open up my journal - in this case an internet-based, family-supported website designed to incorporate not only our stardoll-based virtual lives; but also our own lives in real life.

My topic for today is identity. Who are you? Is a basic question, the answer - however - is quite problematic. While it is quite simple for a person to look at themselves in the mirror - staring uncomprehendingly at their own reflection - and consistently make themselves believe they are who they want to be; is not who they truly are. Sure, I want to be a perfect 5'11 model who has long and wavy blonde hair doesn't really define myself. It just defines a perception I believe of fulfilling. Whilst self-fulfilling prophecy is quite effective in most cases, here, we are just fooling ourselves. Consequently, we lose the sense of who we are.

It might not be a predicament for everyone; it still is a disease that plagues our society. That is, shadowing who we are by who we want to be, or who the society wants us to be. It has come to my attention that many of us are not who we are because people perceive a certain image of us, and honestly, that's what pushes us to work hard to get to their image. Why do we do that? The answer is basic yet the reason behind it is quite complex. We want acceptance, we want stability, we want someone to say 'Hey, that person did that and that and that'. Why study Business when you're a lover of the arts? Why hide yourself behind the books because you're afraid of what people would think of you if you preformed on stage? Why burden yourself to seem acceptable in the eye of the society?

Whilst people have a problem expressing themselves by hiding who they truly are, some people have a new found love to seem unique; such as dying your hair blue, calling yourself 'punk' or 'scene', generally speaking, you stereotype yourself. These people have a rage against society, its basically a person who was hiding their identity until they burst - and as it seems, it burst in all kinds of directions.

Lastly, there are those people who went past hiding and exposing yourself in the wrong way; there comes a time where you say enough is enough. That exactly my friends where I am right now. I - once - gave two shits about what people did think of me - honestly, no one really pushed me to get into med. school, it was just the pressure of not choosing a profession that got me into the wrong area of study - but now, I am going to be changing my major, getting started all over again. At least - my friends - this was an experience, and life is full of such surprising experiences that no matter how perplex they seem are essential to live a healthy life.

I think I want to take this year off to travel, meet new people - experience the heritage of the Indian, or learn to tango like the Spanish, or eat the best linguine in Italy, and live in the cold like the Russians; I have no other choices! What do you think?

So, next time you are facing the mirror, whether it was for five minutes whilst applying final make-up touches before going out to the mall or a fancy dinner with friends or family, or for hours just figuring out yourself, who you are and what you want to be; just remember that you don't need to know who you are now. You got high-school, college and practically your whole life to decide that. Just live your life knowing that you are who you are and not who you were told to be.

adios amigos,

Maggie