February 16, 2012

Rate Our Writers! - Writer #3 (Gluttony)

 
Actually, this is one of our choices we aren't sure we wanted to hire or not and we are giving them a chance to write to impress us to see if we want to chose them for sure!

So your opinions on them might decide whether or not they are denied or chosen.

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 (This will be posted in the next posts I put about the writers.)
We have all of our writers a topic based on the theme we picked which was '7 Deadly Sins on Stardoll' where we relate occurrences on Stardoll on a particular deadly sin. And each writer gets 'Stardoll sin' to write on, and they had full control on how they wrote it out, they chose their own length, writing style, and how they wanted to address it. And what I post here is completely unedited as well, so please address any issues or likes of the article in the comments below!
And each post listed is completely untouched, unedited, and ready to be reviewed by the readers.

The sin we gave to writer #3 is 'Gluttony', or when a person constantly wants or gets things that they don't need, to be full-filled. (Similar to greed but more so with items than money.)
 
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As we are human beings, we have been naturally tinged with the unsettling atribute of savage greed and intense desire for almost everything that surrounds us in our world. In our private lives, this sense of extreme want has played out in several departments of our everyday lives. From shopping, sex, to almost everything under the sun, the demand for everything desireable is on the constant rise. However, is this behavior existant within this place we call Dollywood? Yes. This behavior has openly and shamelessly been exhibited within our fashion based virtual universe. How exactly? The question of the matter is of what exactly: through the collecting of rares and the obsessions with brand name labels on Stardoll.  The sheer lust for rares and exclusive clothing labels has marked Stardoll in a very awful way because of it's members whom are insatiable when it comes to having everything. In a place where everything is availible, it is simply just not enough for some.
 
Many are quick to lay blame on Stardoll above all simply because the website promise,  like a good provider that it is,  "fashion". One of the main activities all members do on Stardoll is dress up in fabulously rendered clothes, and with the right amount of money or celebrity pull you can have it all. In Dollywood, we have a grand plethroa of brand name obsessed people who would cut throats for first season LE or that covetable MKA collection just because of their ravenous behavior. In a sense, many have become severely gluttonous when it comes to obtaining these items and by doing so they hoard them away into massive collections to  outright gain the attention of many. Instead of raising envy however, these individuals are currently raising the ire in everyone whom is noticing their gluttonous behavior. Youget all have seen it: the latest collection comes out and everyone buys it up immediately, yet in a few months time it's being sold. Many are making fortunes off of other's sadly gluttonous greed and it's rather unfortunate. Would you want someone to make money off of you just because you are acting greedy? Many are getting played rather than playing the game of Stardoll because of such behavior.
 
 When many think of gluttony, they instantly pin point it directly to one of the famed seven sins. Gluttony above all could mean over eating, and in this case members are gluttonous to the point that they devour the latest of anything that could have value or amass some sort of worth on down the line. The sheer obsession with having everything is driving many to the edge, making them inhumanly receivers of mass quantities of everything, from the latest release in Hot Buys to the designer tribute collections that Stardoll releases. Overall, gluttony in Dollywood is a major issue. First off, the easy accessability of items on Stardoll leads many to have an unhealthy obsession with having as much as they want and whenever they want. They make it their top priority when they log in to search and scour for items to fill their collections, no matter the cost or what they have to do to get them. The under handed activities to have more on Stardoll has lead many to do the worst act of gluttony in Dollywood: hacking others to have rares in their collections. A price is paid for such ravenous consumption of items, and twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, the gluttonous minds of Stardoll users are englued on adding to their collections and overflowing caches of digitally rendered designer inspired ensembles.
 
Many don't feel as if they should stop at all, in fact many believe that they have the right to amass such collections and to be obsessed with having designer labels. It gives gluttonous people on Stardoll sadistic joy to showcase the wealth of their spoils.  The fact is that this gluttony is not being stopped or even talked about openly within our virtual society only because so many partake in such a devestating activity. Members are often incredulous to their gluttonous ways all of the time and continue to take in more than they can handle, thus making it an obsession to do so. Gluttony on Stardoll can be based around many pivotal factors. For one, the plight for fame and recognition play a heavy role in their strive to have the rarest of items to keep up with the "in-crowd". Many are revered for their massive collections and are thrown into the lime light for their greed, which has been praised and looked up apon rather than be shown for what it really is: gluttony. I would always  like to ask such people a perticular question: Does having the latest of anything really make you feel that you are worth something? I feel as if such gluttonous ways are detremental to members mainly outside of the perimeters of Stardoll's virtual world. When one is able to have so much anytime they want on Stardoll, their mind set becomes this on their personal time. Gluttony on Stardoll is an epidemic that is growing with because of the members whom are unwillingly unable to let go of their voracious tendancies when it comes to buying items. Many are simply too exceedingly eager to please the masses with their collections rather than collect because of a more natural, mentally settling way.
 
Gluttony on Stardoll has been heavilly ensewn into having a status on Stardoll, and it becomed easilly recognizable through having the latest of the late or having an extreme amount of previously coveted rares. If one cannot make a direct name for themselves, they can simply buy it and it seems to be this way. If you feel as if you are partaking in Stardoll guttony, revaluate your current condition. Do you find yourself on the verge of anger or in sheer desperation to have the latest designer labels? Do you just buy anything just because it has a popular trademark? I advise you strictly not to get too deep into this savage desire for items that you on your personal time will never obtain into your physical grasp simply because you will only be hurting yourself. Instead of putting most of your money on virtual items, you could attempt to put that income twoards something more constructive. Don't be another sterotype of the gluttonous Stardoll member, for it will only lead you down through a road of intense problems that you don't have to make for yourself. Having the latest won't make you happy eternally, and it always means more to have the things that you will love and cherish for a long time rather than having the newest of anything. 
 
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 Review it in the comments below!

21 comments:

  1. way too long, didn't bother to read it all, all that text and no pictures makes it really not appealing to read

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  2. It was a good post, but I started to get a bit bored at the end... I would advise that he/she works on this (also with the use of pictures as mentioned above), but other than that I think this was quite well written.

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  3. I really liked it. I gave him an awesome.

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  4. A very good post! I gave it a Awesome! a lot of effort was defiantly put into it! But maybe if it was shorter, it could have got the message across sharper. xxx Tay :)

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  5. tl;dr

    I bet it's abbeydawn122, right?

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  6. It's a bit boring. I hardly read it at all. The writer should add some humor into his/her post, made their voice come through the writing, that sort of thing.

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  7. I really loved this one! I just hate that people didn't even bother to read it.

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  8. I thought you had great points in this, I really liked it!

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  9. When this post said it was going to be about 'Gluttony', I thought this should be interesting to read. No way. I found this plain boring. No pictures, endless text. I don't mind reading but those constant paragraphs were all going on and on about one thing. It needed some spice to it.

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. The writing is decent but I didn't read the whole thing, too long and wordy. I didn't see any personality in it either, it felt like I was reading a textbook.

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  12. It's very well written but it was really hard for me to read - just because it was making me feel uninterested by the start of the 2nd paragraph :( It's too 'newspaper-ish' lol
    If you added a bit of life & maybe pictures it would be perfect though (:

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  13. people with short attention spans here. Not all writing has to have pictures to grab attention.

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  14. At the very end I started to doze off, but I really was astounded by this writer's such divine vocabulary! I don't mind reading long pieces of writing, however the majority of our society doesn't seem quite appealed to the very way those long essays work. I gave her/him an "awesome" due to their way with pulling in the audience. Good work, you've got my approval!

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  15. ^Your comments make me 'lol' from how serious they are.

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  16. This post is truthful but too long, glutony means greed which transpires also in starbazaar prices. But some people on stardoll just have items for the fun of it not necesarily because it's the latest item. At least they bought the items & didn't steal them through hacking or scamming. What I don't understand is the rare items or their starbazaar prices.

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  17. Your article reminds me of LoveGossip4Life's comments.
    Still not sure if that's a good thing.

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  18. I just skimmed it, from what I could see, there was very good word choice, punctuation and grammar, but the legnth makes her/him seem a bit like a try-hard. I would add something to make the most moree visually appealing, and possibly a little shorter. Not many people will take the time to read an essay on a website. It's hard enough writing them xD.

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  19. I agree with many of these comments in the fact that it's boring. Nothing about it catches your eye or motivates you to read it. It was good but I read the first few paragraphs and got tired of it. There is use of interesti ng vocabulary I suppose, but it seems like this person wasn't letting their own voice through and was masking it with fancy words. As I said, I read a bit but then skipped the rest because he/she was always going on about the same point. There wasn't many different sides to this post, different angles and perspectives, so I'm sorry, but I voted it boring. I do not want to see more of this on this blog.

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  20. There are very good points in this post and the writer has an amazing vocabulary, but I personally think it's too - how do I say it? Too long and stuffed up with big words as if you got a dictionary for Christmas and finally found a use for it. Of course I like this kind of words in a post, they are beautiful, but this is way too much.

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  21. This writer has a very flamboyant style of writing.
    He/she knows they're intelligent and (somewhat) skillful when it comes to writing--and he/she flaunts it.
    These kind of posts (that I will admit to writing myself once upon a time) are usually long (check), somewhat boring (check), and hard to read (check!).

    The key to making a good post is not doing what this writer has done; rather, stating a point clearly and getting to it quickly. Don't take the readers off with you on your tangent, and don't let your opinion get in the way of stating the facts objectively. You can make your opinion on the subject clear in the end, which will also help you to transition into that sometimes turbulent and scattered conclusion. This writer didn't do so, and the long and ramble-y conclusion showed it. He/she also didn't use the correct transition words when he/she started to wrap up the post with a 'In conclusion[...]'.

    I may just be getting down to the gritty details that no one pays attention to, but these are the things I noticed that detracted from my enjoyment of this post.
    So, in conclusion (to whomever wrote this post):
    1. Don't focus on loading up the post with flamboyant and flashy vocabulary--it often distracts you from your point and usage of correct sentence structure and other facets of grammar.
    a. If you need to add flashy grammar, put in ordinary words and then proofread and swap them for more eloquent ones. The correct way to proofread is by putting down your piece and partaking in other activities. Then, after no less than an hour, come back to your piece in a different frame of mind and correct your grammatical mistakes and spelling errors and swap our those words that have fancier counterparts.

    2. Make an outline of your article [four square preferably (look it up if you don't know what I mean, this is not a grammar class)] and then stick to it. Consult it whilst writing if you feel you are drifting away from the core of your point. This goes hand in hand with #1 above.

    3. Edit, edit, EDIT! Your post was TOO long. Less is more. A more concise, well-written post that is shorter will grab a reader's attention (and keep it) more-so than a long oration. I won't tell you how or what to delete--use your God-given judgement. All I can say is: do not be afraid of that delete button.

    4. Please, please, PLEASE... proofread.
    Simple spelling errors (that could've been fixed had you taken the time to PROOFREAD) make people question your credibility (and the competence of your grammar teacher...) in important essays and such. Don't worry about it too much for Stardoll (a quick once-over in the method I told you before should be good enough), but otherwise, please, please, PLEASE proofread.

    That's all, I hope these tips help you.

    PS: I only take the time to write this out for people I believe have potential. It was a solid post, but I believe you could have a brilliant post for your readers every time if you work on some things. Good luck.

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