April 10, 2011

Hidden~

Is this really me? Or is all a mask? Am I expressing my true self, or am I hiding behind a common misconception? 


I would like to think not.


The reason I applied to become a writer at Memoires Of A MeDoll, was simply because I could think of no greater honour. I read this blog every single day and I was disappointed when there were no new posts. It was only after I applied and was accepted in this challenge that I began to think about becoming "famous". If I wrote for this blog, then who knows what could happen next? Could people start to pay attention to me? Could I become well known, an "elite" as some people call it. 


It's only now that I am so close to the end of this competition that I am starting to let vanity seep in. My friend, Nicholas always asks me how I'm going with that "writing thing", and I say that I think I am going well. When I say that, I become so self-centred and I think "who am I kidding? I have to potential to win this and become famous on Stardoll!"


When I think that, I can't help but think "am I really that much of a self-absorbed, uppety bitch? Goodness, I sound so far up myself I can't breathe!". I try not to become an ostentatious grump, but some times, it's hard to help it.


The question put forward was "Am I blogging as myself or am I conforming to an image that I am not?"




To answer that question directly;
I blog for myself as much as I can.


What I mean by that is, being a (very recent) non-teenager, I still have that petty teenager self doubt. I don't feel like my honest opinion is not good enough. Like, I am not good enough.  I have dressed things up to make them sound better, but I have never lied. I am always as honest as I feel comfortable with.


I guess, at times, I could be a bitch. But I try to be myself, and if others perceive that as a bitch, well then there is nothing I can do.


I'm no Barbie Doll, and if I was eliminated from this competition I would be devastated.


For the real me.




xx
Krystyna ♥

17 comments:

  1. Your honesty makes your writing come alive!

    Your essay is very expressive of the conflicting feelings you are experiencing at this very moment. I know now that I have something in common with you... I am identifying completely WITH YOU!

    And if you do not get this coveted writer's post, please do not be devastated. You deserve to be a writer here--that's all I know for sure.

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  2. TK_Cullen... | TeeKayeSunday, April 10, 2011 3:52:00 PM

    OMG ! If you're blogger of the week.. and I was the first to say you'd win.. then I think.. THINK i won the raffle ! WOOOO, all thanks to your impeccable writing style.

    If you don't already have a Numer 1 fan I'd happily claim the spot. If so, then ...

    IDK, just keep being who you are [:

    -TeeKaye
    [CBF Signing In :P ]

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  3. WOW you're so good.! No word =}

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  4. I loved this article so much, I am so glad she won. I voted for you and it is nice to see others could see the talent too.

    You put so much feeling into it well done x...

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. So worth being the post of the week on MDM ;o

    Great job!

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  7. YOU DESERVE THIS JOB GIRL. :D I voted for you, by the way. Amazing, and very convincing.

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  8. Sorry to post this on your commentary but it is important to get this message out. Don't buy the free items in the new SD bridal boutique. SD will charge you for them! If this has happened to you send your complaint through the Help section on the Spotlight tab in SD. Here is the message I sent:
    Ok here is the problem. I went to the star plaza using a link in Underneath Star Doll and under the impression that a lot of the items from the new brides store were 0 stardollars. The price tags on the items still read 0 stardollars so, of course I bought them. When I got to my suite to look at my items, including many items that I actually bought with stardollars I discovered that the price tags had changed and that I had been charged for all those free items. The usual policy is...the customer is charged what the price tag reads at the time of purchase. I would either like to receive my stardollars back for the 0 price tag items and keep the items since they were incorrectly marked or to return all the 0 price tag items and receive a stardollar refund for those items. This was misrepresentation of merchandise and I am very dissappointed that Star doll would do this. Once the items were no longer free you should have changed the price tags at once and notified everyone of the change at the same time. I hope that you will do the right and professional thing and return my stardollars to me. Whether you decide to let me keep the 0 price tag items or take them back is up to you. I await your decision and plan to post this message to you on several blogs including my SD blog. (if it will let me do so) Thank you for your time.

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  9. This is a very good post!
    Applause to you, well done.

    One question, though, who will be leaving the competition?:O

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  10. This was one of the two winning entries on the last challenge. This week's results aren't in yet. :)

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  11. I would be surprised if she wouldn't win. Be in the top 2 at the very least. This is a really excellent post

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  12. I love it!! Brilliant job! keep it up gurl!

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Nice to see you back! Oh wait. .. .who are you again?