July 02, 2011

Emotions Don't Matter On The Internet

Happy first of July guys! Almost half way done with 2011, isn't it amazing?

(This is a long, yet insightful, post, I would love if you at least read the responses part at the end of my post. Thank you for your time)

But my subject for this post is a rather thoughtful one, I wanted to touch the base of people on the internet.

Millions of people use the internet for all purposes, some for personal gain, some for entertainment, others for media purposes, and so forth. The internet allows everyone the chance to interact and meet new people everyday in a safer way.

Along with this safer way of communication, the internet sometimes gives people a persona, on some websites, people gain uber popularity and use it to help themselves further in their real life, while others gain in on a website that doesn't change their real lives and yet it gives them a character to play, like someone we think of as an elite who appear to be stuck up and snobby, or someone we see as a bitchy blogger who is harsh and heartless.

The internet can be a great place to express yourself and be.. bold. Which leads me to my point, people love to be brave over the internet. We all know, people who go around like there's no tomorrow, either trolling it up, or what we usually see, anonymously comment on posts in a negative fashion. Or they join in on a band wagon of pure hate towards you if one person finds you to be 'not good enough' and they all gang up on you, with courage from the one who initiated the hate. Many people fall victim to what is called cyber bullying everyday. Where as, people think 'This is over the internet? EMOTIONS DON'T MATTER OVER THE INTERNET!'

But.. they do. It is a real crime to tease, emotionally hurt, and verbally assult people over the internet, but it gets ignored by the either sides of the party either because they don't believe justice can be done about it or just got over it. But the world still doesn't take into consideration about others who lie over the computer screen. Most people just feel, 'I can shit talk about the internet and its okay' or 'If someone tries to hurt me, it won't do anything to me.' But sadly that is not always the case.

Not everyone has a wall of stone to haters. Some people have to learn to get over the haters, but usually something has to hurt the person first before they learn not to feel pain by it. I know I had to, if you guys recall, I made a post about how I was hurt people hated 'Ask Dei' and said I thought I was Oprah or something because I wanted to give advice. And after that, I just gave up on trying to open my heart to people.

And the same with other people over Stardoll. So 3 days ago, I asked over 30 people the same question to see how many response. The question was ", Have you been hurt from people over the internet, if so, how did it feel?" And I had about 13 responses. And here they are.

(I capitalized and changed words to their correct spellings, other than that, I did NOT change what the responses were. For people who are listed as anonymous wanted their username not shown.)

"Yes I've been [hurt], I felt terrible." - Brit-On-Me

"Yeah, I have. And it's not a good feeling. I wanted to just kill myself you know? To have people that don't even know you laugh at you and stuff, it hurts. I wanted to just come through the computer and beat up everyone..." - Anonymous

"I've been hurt in the internet, more the once and honestly there have been times I have ended up crying. With time I did learn how to ignore the words that were being said about me." - Miss_LolitaF

"From real life "friends" ? : Yes, from one of my ex-close friends. It felt like a betrayal. Like some one attempted to stab me with a plastic knife, no not a butter knife. Like a legit knife. It was so bad I couldn't even try to resolve the problem with her, but end of story. Its hurt. But I'm glad it happened online, it hurt less, plus if it was in real life I would have knocked her out.

From Stardoll "friends": Not really. Some people try to hurt me, but its a virtual site, com'on I don't take it seriously. Reece tried to hurt my feelings over Skype recently, but the only thing he did was make me laugh." - Supa_star4real

"I have not been hurt in a way that I cry myself to sleep. Of course people were mean to me, breaking me down etc. I think this happens to everyone, not just on Stardoll. At least every bit of 'hurt' I recieved was minor." - Sugar103

"I've been hurt a lot of times. One of the biggest ones was here, in Stardoll. Many girls from my country started hating me and saying really rude things about me only because I am known here and I achieved something. It felt so awful, I wanted to leave this place and I was depressed for a few months." - Vampire_

"Yes, I have been hurt from people on the internet I have been hurt twice people were calling me names like fatty and stuff when I am clearly not. Also Jack has hurt me a lot by the things he says and stuff and also Devie44 he says horrible ***ual things to me and stuff!" - Mizzmileycyrus9

"Yes, when I first joined Stardoll, I fell victim to someone asking me to go out with them. Naturally I was freaked, but when I blocked him as he keep saying he loved me and would kill himself, he wrote to my friend saying I was pregnant. Then two other dolls attacked me, one saying she was his ex and I had stolen him and the other saying she was his stepmother and I wasn't good enough for him and was making him harm himself.

My poor sister was attacked to and she stood up to them, she said things I would be too scared to say and I blocked them all on both our accounts. But the damage was done, I felt worthless, like maybe he would hurt himself. At the time I didn't see it was probably all a lie, they were one person. I felt like maybe I wasn't worth him and if not a virtual boy then not any boy and I felt sad for my sister who was quite upset about it all. I felt guilty about his girlfriend and I was scared of the internet for a while. I realized how easy it was to be approached by weirdos on the internet and that it really shattered you. It taught me how evil people can be, but there are good people out there on Stardoll. They helped me get through it,my friends never believed him an tried to help me." - Anonymous

"No I haven't [been hurt]." - IHATEVAMPINIZE

"In my younger, more eager-to-please days, sure. In terms of Stardoll, one of the very first times I was featured in a blog post, someone called me a 'gothic lesbo with no life'. If someone were to call me that now, I'd just laugh and point out how stupid that person would have to be to think that. Back then, it knocked my confidence, as stupid as it sounds. But the good things far outweigh the good things - as long as you have a solid circle of friends, I don't think the odd hater even matters. It just toughens you up." - Welsh_witch 

"I have been hurt over the internet, when people made up lies about me being a girl - some of the people had been 'friends' so that hurt me to think I had been used. Other than that, no. I turn the computer off if I'm irritated." - SaltyDan

"Nope, I haven't been hurt over the internet but I've had so many arguments and they make me feel so mad, but I've learned they might just be little kids so don't waste your time on them." - Alexcendraburke

"Plenty of times. Even here on Stardoll I've been called several names but of course the racial comments hurt the worse. Honestly I felt embarrassed because how many people saw these hateful comments in my GB before I logged on? I've been called just about every name there is but I'm still standing proud successful smart and beautiful. Whats funny is most of those people are now emailing, texting etc trying to be my friend now... How ironic, but at the end of the day the person who is spitting those comments must truly feel pathetic so they feel the need to pick on others.

Basically the internet gives a person superficial courage, kind of like when you are drunk and you get 'liquid courage' you do things you would never do when sober. when sitting in front of a computer no one can touch them so they get this fake courage and go on the rampage & start attack people knowing good and well, that in real life they probably are as weak as a new born chicken. Don't let cyber bullying control your life. As long as you can walk out of your front door everyday and hang out at the mall with friends and family and feel safe... put up that firewall to the cyber bullies and soon they will go away... hopefully to find a life, haha." - BASHY77

So I wanted to leave you guys with this thought, if you are hurt, you are not alone, and that.. Try to be more thoughtful to the ones you meet or talk to? You never know how they take your words. And your words of hate may lead them to just hate back at others. Hate never really dies, you know?

Love, Dei


  1. You thoroughly explained this point and problem that does need to be addressed.

    Anywhere on the internet is a place to scam, hack, hurt and lie. I don't know why anyone would want to do this or feel the need to. Bullying in real life is bad enough bullying over the internet is just pointless. How can you even get a thrill or feel better from hurting people?

    Thanks to the people who shared their stories

  2. I dont want to be rude but how old are the girls/boys that say that they were really hurt on stardoll? It is clearly that those who are rude on stardoll are just persons who make accounts especially to insult others. There where many persons which i didnt knew and wrote in my gb that my doll or suite is ugly or they would simply insult me...but that didnt have any impact on me cause its not real!!! I am sorry for those who were hurt by friends from stardoll but to believe and let influenced by everything anyone sasys...

  3. Wow! I totally agree with this post. I read every single part of it! If someone says anything to me, Sofi just says something back... LOL xD

    Ily Sofi, really :)

  4. So Reece has a heart after all. Well, sorta.

  5. This is a very meaningful post. I am older than most here, and my skin is a lot thicker... yet when I first encountered this kind of bullying HERE on Stardoll, I was totally astonished. I tend to forget what it's like being so young and insecure. You want to knock others down so you can feel better about yourself. NOT. That's just sick and I'm afraid it's on the rise here and on the rest of the internet.

  6. well that supa star girl is a bully herself, she never leaves me alone.

  7. The funniest thing on this post...

    Is that you asked SALTYDAN!!!!

    He's the one who hurt more than receive hurt behaviors!!! I'm sorry but it ruins the post... I was really upset when I saw his name... And thinking that YOU! Deidra! You asked him!!!

    Poor of YOU! This is what makes me think this post, SORRY!

  8. @Anon
    I think that is in-appropriate. You just did exactly what this post was against. Troll on people in an anonymous form.

    I totally agree with you Dei. Thank you for opening up our eyes & All those people that contributed at the end made me feel... Protected :)

  9. The difference between Reece's and everyone elses, is because he also bullies as well. And I have proof. So he doesn't really have room to talk about his, because if he dishes it out, he can get some back. The same with Dan also.

  10. @The last anon - So you are saying he can't have his own opinion or his feelings hurt?

    My biggest point of this post is that.. its all a circle of hate.

    Understand that. You hating others leads to others hurting you.

  11. Exactly. I think cyber bullieing would hurt worse because you never know who the comments are from. I mean, sure, its most likely someone in another part of the country or world, but I think it would be horrifieing to know that they could be someone you know in real life that you know and are close to.
    I'm not saying that real life bullieing doesn't hurt, because it does. Its like a knife-I know from first-hand experience.
    And then so many people go so far as to end their own lives because of cyber bullieing. (Or is it bullying? Neither spelling really looks right...)

    Oh, and on a completly different thought-I have a suggestion for a post if anyone likes the idea. I think it would be really cool for someone to write about how to make a blog or other project more successful.

  12. I think the best thing is to just not let bullies get to your head, because no matter what we do we can't seem to stop bullying on Stardoll- there are always gonna be people who need the "rush" of hurting somebody else, wherever you go in life.

  13. I've had my name featured in hate blog posts, I have two hater accounts named after me and people often tell me I'm not a nice person. I've cried over arguments I've had on Stardoll. I've received hate on Formspring for 'stealing someone's best friend' and through all of this I've realised that no matter how much I try and pretend that my online life is better than my real one, there are haters everywhere and I'm not going to be liked by everyone. Honestly, hate is just one of those things that's never going to go away. There's no cure to a natural human reflex. I guess we just have to take it in our stride and deal with it. :)

  14. I can't honestly say I've ever experienced hate on Stardoll, although there was a guy [presumably a paedo phile] that would give me abuse because I wouldn't give him my address or something.

    There was this one guy though, on Facebook, who was a member in an anime related group that I was also a member in, who for some reason thought I came across as annoying and therefore thought that it was okay to give me harsh abuse. And that really irked me, because my friends had said that I didn't come across as annoying at all, yet he still continued to bombard me with sometimes racist slurs and curses.

    It just pisses me off the way people think that the internet is their ticket to break people down.

  15. Not very engaging. I could only read the first three chapters... Oh, well...

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