September 29, 2012
It's funny how things change.
So, here I am. It's almost October and it's been several weeks since anybody has posted on MDM. Over the breaks I'm sure more writers will rectify that, but with some of my free time I'd like to reflect a bit, and I hope you all will come along with me on this philosophical experience.
Stardoll used to be literally my life. I was obsessed. I was so infatuated with this "virtual world" I was neglecting the real one, the real world I lived in. I was a hermit: my friends would text me with plans and I'd blow them off so I could further my relationship with my laptop, Stardoll, and my virtual friends- a lot of whom wouldn't be around for very long. For awhile, I was happy, living in this sort of limbo state: alive, but not truly living, cliche and corny as that sounds. Call me a lunatic but Stardoll had put a trance on me. All of my allowance money went into my superstar account; I was neurotic about collecting Limited Edition; I would obsess over Stardoll drama.
It's also interesting how I once wanted a job on MDM so badly. Last year Noelle_Page held a competition on here called "MDM's Next Top Blogger." I made it to the finals. The competition never concluded, but I poured my heart into it. I'm not regretting it: the competition did make me a better writer and did teach me how to truly appeal to an audience. The lessons I learned were invaluable but while I was busy pouring my soul into this online universe, the vibrant world of reality kept spinning. My grades plummeted, I didn't care. My goals for the future didn't matter so much anymore, who needed those when I was a up-and-coming writer on this online world? I seemed to have somewhere to belong here, on Stardoll, so why did I have to search for a place in the real world?
It made no sense to me. Stardoll was my home, why'd I give it up for the much colder, harsher, real world of adults and hard work?
At some point I woke up. It wasn't any abrupt "Aha!" moment, not at all. It was the process of a long winter's slumber, where I, like the grizzly bear, slowly arose and took in the surroundings. It has taken a long time to pick up the bits and pieces of the life I threw away for Stardoll. I'm still picking some parts up today. Dreadful as I've been making it sound, however, Stardoll was good for me. It taught me a lot. I just can't help wishing the lessons were shorter and I didn't have to screw everything up and fight my way back to the top again.
I'm not going to leave Stardoll. I don't know if I ever will. There's something very special about Stardoll that attracted me to make an account; there always will be something very special about it. I will always look back fondly at my days when I spent hours there, but I won't miss them.
I'm moving on. But not in the way you'd expect. I'm just re-organizing and re-prioritizing my life. Stardoll isn't number one, nor should it ever be again.
I'm not sure what this post was for, or about, but it's been on my chest for awhile and I feel many of you have experienced similar reactions from Stardoll. It's been very hard to find the words for the post, but today they seem to flow out of me. A bit disorganized, perhaps, and I am rambling a bit, so I'll end this fast: penny for your thoughts?
This isn't the end, though. I'm not done with you yet, MDM.
Posted by Sierra Lang (iswim19)